Kitter-Katter: The Magnificent New House

I had overheard mom talking to her mom about the "cat house". I didn't know what she was talking about until today!

It smelled like another cat, even though they cleaned it well. Oh well, Velvet and I were immediately drawn to it. I mean, we can claw it all we want, and there's even a high perch where I can... I dunno, sit and watch things?

While I was exploring the inside, Velvet was checking the outside.

She got really pushy!

So I hopped on the roof to see what the deal was with THAT.

Then Velvet started to go into the house, and I like to keep an eye on her cuz she isn't very athletic (like me) so she might get hurt climbing places...

The scratching post was awesome.

I had a good stretch. Yep, yep, good stretch. Nothing bad could happen now...

Well, that's done, now what? Think I'll wander around this roof and see what I can-

VELVET YOU SCARED ME!!!
Velvet: Boo! I gots ya!

What are you doing, Velvet? I just wanted to play on the new cat house!
Velvet: MY house nao! OFF!

Uh, I'll fight you?
Velvet: I will own you, sister!

Alright, fine. I have sharp claws too, and I was born first. Even though you've been putting on more weight than me and are bigger and will be bigger...

Velvet: I'm also cute! The humans side with me always!

RAWR! I took the peak!
Velvet: Curses! I must think of something new...

Velvet: Hmm, this post looks climbable. If I just swing around...

Velvet: Can't catch me here! Whoo!

Aww, Velvet! You're not playing fair!

Velvet: Nao I pushes you to outside of perch! House almost MINE!

You may be cute, but your grammatical structuring is horrible. Wait, you've distracted me! I can't hold on much longer!

<Brave kitties fight over territorial dispute>

<Massive energy reserves and resources consumed over seemingly frivolous battle. Critics claim new laws must be introduced to prevent such losses in the future. The kitties licked their bums in response>

Wah! I fall!

*pouts* Must come up with a better strategy. I will retreat to plot, but THIS. ISN'T. OVER!

Velvet: Hmmm, methinks it is! Now I surveys my new kingdoms. Mai new palace is complete with lower level housing and a balcony overlooking the magical kingdom of food. From there, I can beg for more food with which to fill my belly. All food is tasty, I don't care if it's for people.

SURPRISE! HAVE AT YOU!

Velvet: *gasp!* Your plotting didn't take long... your plan to overthrow my rule can't be very good...

Nonsense! I will bite the house into bits. If I can't live here, NOONE CAN!!

*GNAW**GNAW**GNAW*

Velvet: Having tasty fun? I'll eat anything, but this is made of non-edible material!

Fine, I'll stop gnawing, but while you were busy questioning my sanity, I managed to penetrate the un-defended lower wall! There is a gaping hole here. This could use a drawbridge or something... but either way, it's MINE NOW! BWAHAHA!

Velvet: Aww... shucks... Well, i'll have to just hold onto the upper-levels even tighter, then! *hops up*

I can hear the strange sounds coming from beyond my vision. I half-expect a large, wooden rabbit to be wheeled out for me to bring into my fortress.

What is she doing up there?

Velvet: Moi! Why, I do nothing! Nothing at all! I'm innocent! *purr*

A likely story. You're just sucking up to the humans so that they'll give you this awesome fortress/castle/perch combination!

Velvet: Well, I wasn't going to, but now that you mention it, they are focused on my cuteness. I'll bet if I just look at them with my wide eyes and chirp a bit-

SURPRISE!!! GET OFFA THERE!

Velvet: Gah! You scared me! Trying to attack from low ground is bold... and foolish!

Velvet: I am no fool, but I'll hop down too and stare at you until you come out so we can fight straight on. The sooner I get this taken care of, the sooner...